You Know Who I Am
by Nejitenness
Summary: "I was losing my mind at that time. I was too angry at the situation and the fact that I couldn't protect you. You reminded me of…" The blurred image of Hyuuga Hizashi, with unspoken understanding in his colorless orbs and warmth in his smile flashed through his mind. "Of my father."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** If Naruto was mine, I wouldn't have made Neji/NejiTen fans cry.

* * *

_And I'd give up forever to touch you__  
__'Cause I know that you feel me somehow__  
__You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be__  
__And I don't want to go home right now_

_Goo Goo Dolls __—__ Iris_

…

"Neji!"

Someone hugged him from behind and laughed. "Neji, Neji, Neji!"

Hyuuga Neji widened his eyes, trying to pry those arms off his stomach and turned around to meet a pair of brown eyes and beautiful features he'd missed so much. "Tenten?"

The bun haired girl giggled. She still looked the same, nothing had changed. She wasn't hurt, she was okay; and that made his breath nearly stop. She was _here._ "Guess who's back?"

He pulled her into his arms without thinking, burying his face in her green tea smelled hair. "I've missed you." His voice was hoarse, trembling slightly from relief because she was safe with him now. "I've missed you."

"Neji," Tenten sighed into his shoulder, "I've missed you too."

"Where have you been?"

She pulled away to look at him with warm eyes, smiling as she cradled his face in both hands. "Neji," her voice soothing and soft to his ears, "I found my heaven."

Neji opened his eyes.

Morning sunlight immediately hurt his eyes a little, but he did nothing to turn his face away from the window. He clenched his fists, wanting to punch or break something to release the emotions deep inside him.

He had dreamed of her again.

With his other hand, Neji reached to the space beside him only to meet the cold surface of the bed. There was no trace that someone had been there last night. He knew he should haven't been surprised, but truthfully every morning he always hoped for a miracle that there would be a little warmth to tell him she had been there the night before, even if she'd left early before he woke up.

How pitiful.

Shaking his head, Neji gathered his strength to leave the bed and put on his shirt, heading to the kitchen to make himself some tea.

He stood before the countertop, watching the steaming tea he'd just made in silence. The sweet smell started to fill the air and Neji had no choice but to let it consume him completely. Like people who couldn't skip coffee every morning, he wasn't able to leave home before drinking tea, or if he wanted to say it more seriously, he couldn't live without it. Unfortunately, tea always reminded him of her—which meant he had to torture himself every morning. He couldn't live without remembering her.

He couldn't live without her.

There was a soft knock at the front door, making him narrow his eyes. Not only did he want to be alone at that moment, but there hadn't been any guest since four months ago.

Activating his Byakugan, Neji somehow wasn't that surprised to see who was standing before the door. He wanted to ignore her and pretended he wasn't home, but knew it would be useless. There was no point to hide anymore so he reluctantly left the kitchen.

He opened the door and a dark haired girl stared at him hesitantly. "G-good morning, Neji-nii-san."

Neji tried his best to display no expression at all. "Good morning. Hinata-sama."

Hyuuga Hinata swallowed, fingers playing with each other nervously. "A-are you alright?"

"Yes." He quickly answered. "Do you need my help, Hinata-sama?"

"No," Hinata peeked behind his shoulder—a pointless action because she knew no one was there anyway—and shifted her gaze to him again. "I-I just want to make sure you have come back. Father… he thought you were still on your mission, but I know you were supposed to come back last night, so I—"

"I came here last night," the older Hyuuga said, "but I will go home in an hour."

His cousin didn't leave as he expected. "Nii-san. What… can I do to help you?"

Neji avoided her gaze. "I'm sorry, Hinata-sama." In this state, he felt so weak that he would accept any help from anyone, but the truth was that no one could save him now. "There's nothing you can do." _I've drowned too deep._

"I understand," Hinata said weakly, lowering her eyes to her feet.

The long haired man slid one foot behind the other one, signaling that he wanted to come inside, alone. "If you'll excuse me, I have to a few things to finish before going home."

Nodding slightly, the younger girl didn't protest. "See you later, Neji-nii-san."

He closed the door before she really left.

Neji didn't drink his tea that morning. He flung his mission pack over his shoulder and locked the door, leaving the apartment but not actually going to Hyuuga compound. Instead, he stood alone in front of Konoha memorial stone, listening to a few birds chirping from tree branches above and feeling warm sunlight dancing on his pale skin.

Even if he enjoyed the peaceful silence, his heart didn't sing like the birds.

There was suddenly a familiar chakra behind him, right when he started to touch a name engraved on the stone with his fingers.

"Neji."

Neji had to remind himself to stay calm, to not lose his control, to not break the big stone before him with bare hands. Instead, he greeted the person back with his normal tone, if not slightly flat. "Lee."

A pause. "How was your mission?"

"Fine."

"I see." They were silent for a moment until Lee spoke again. "I met Hinata-san a few minutes ago."

Neji didn't reply.

"You… stayed at Tenten's apartment again last night."

"Do you have any problem with that?" He asked. His heart berated himself for speaking that harsh, but the next second he threw away his guilt.

"Neji," Lee said, "I'm really, really sorry to say this. But you… you should try to move on! Tenten wouldn't be happy seeing you like this!"

This time Neji turned around, anger evident in his eyes and voice as he spoke. "You'll never know, Lee," he said, trying to mask his emotions which he failed to do, "you'll never know how important she was to me."

"I know!" Lee clenched his fists, bravely staring straight into his pale eyes. "I know how important she was to you, and how you have lost everything! I know what she was to you even before that morning!"

Neji knew what morning his teammate meant. It was almost one year ago, on a mission somewhere in a small village far away from Konoha, when Lee had accidentally found him and Tenten curling together under the same blankets. Tenten had almost cried in embarrassment and he himself had thrown one of her small scrolls to Lee's head, but the bowl haired man had quickly apologized, promising them to not tell anyone about this. Throughout the day, the three of them had acted as if nothing had happened.

The following days, everything had been going smoothly—one by one their friends had started to find out their relationship although not in a way as embarrassing as Lee's—but the happiness had stopped four months ago in the cruelest way Neji had never even imagined.

"I know you're blaming me for everything that happened." Lee said again when Neji didn't react. His gaze turned to the ground. "I know it was my fault. I do always want to punish myself for this, Neji. But…" Lee's eyes closed as if he was in pain, "please come back to your old self. I can't stand seeing you like this. I owe Tenten so much, I don't want her to be sad because you're—"

"Lee." Neji cut him off, making his old friend lift his head. "What would you do if you lost someone so precious to you for the second time in your life?"

"I…" Lee tried to find his words. "Tenten is the only person I have ever lost this far."

"Then you will never know." The Hyuuga simply said. "You will never know how I feel. People, including you, easily tell me to move on already. What are you thinking?" He saw Lee flinch from the corner of his eyes. "It is not just a simple problem to me. Losing two people because of the same reason… no one but me knows how it feels."

Sacrifice was a part of shinobi life. But after having someone he loved doing it for someone else, two times in his life, Neji wasn't sure if he could still hold onto what Naruto had taught him years ago.

Lee was silent.

"Go home. I'm not blaming you."

"You've never lied before, Neji."

If there wasn't tension between them, Neji would've wondered where Lee's ridiculous phrases like 'youth', 'rival', and 'fire' had gone, but at the moment he didn't even care about it. "So you think I'm lying?"

"Yes. You're blaming me for this. But I do understand and I don't blame you for blaming me."

Neji chose to not respond.

"Neji." Lee lifted his head to stare at him seriously, hands clenching tightly. "Fight me then."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Fight me," Lee repeated. "Release all of your anger on me. Use your jutsu on me, kick me, hit me, anything you want, even _kill _me if you need to."

The Hyuuga prodigy's eyes widened; but Rock Lee could be serious at times and this was one of them.

Lee took a few steps back as if preparing enough distance for their fight. "You're my rival, Neji. I've always wanted to have a real battle against you, not just our usual sparring at our training grounds." He held out one hand, palm facing himself; signaling that he was ready. "You've always wanted to see whose technique is the better, haven't you? This is the right time."

Neji's nails dug into his palms.

"Fight me, Neji! This is my only way to pay Tenten's sacrifice for me!"

Hearing her name was what fueled Neji. His heart clenched painfully all of a sudden, the frustration and anger coming back as he automatically activated his bloodline limit and infused chakra to his right hand.

With a growl, Neji started to dash forward just as he saw Lee preparing his defense—

—but a pair of hands suddenly grabbed his left arm, gripping it tightly and stopping him from moving that he was so shocked.

"Stop it!"

Eyes wide, Neji turned his head to find his younger cousin. "Stop, Nii-san. Please stop!"

"Hinata-sama…"

"Hinata-san." He heard Lee's serious voice. "Please don't interfere. I want to finish this with Neji."

"No, please listen to me!" Hinata shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks, making him wonder what had happened. "Y-you have to go to hospital now! Please!"

"What happened?"

"She came back!" Hinata cried. "Tenten-san—she has come back!"

His heart and lungs stopped working for a moment.

Perhaps, it had something to do with the fact that he hadn't drunk his tea that morning.

* * *

"Sakura-san!"

Hearing Lee's frantic call, the pink haired woman turned to see the three of them running to her. Her face was hard as if she had just heard something very shocking. But that was nothing compared to what Neji felt right now; he could feel his hands trembling madly and cold sweat running down his temples.

As if she could see that, Sakura glanced at him and managed a forced reassuring smile. "She's in there. Tsunade-sama—"

"I have to see her." Neji pushed the medic ninja away by her shoulder, heading toward the closed emergency room. "I have to see her."

Sakura grabbed his arm before he could even reach the door. "Stay here, Neji-san. I know what you feel but this is Tsunade-sama's order."

"I have to see her!" Neji almost shouted, pulling his arm free, "don't get in my way!"

Lee reacted quickly, holding Neji's arms from behind so that he couldn't move. "Calm down, Neji! You will see her when you can! You will be the first person to see her. Right, Sakura-san?"

Sakura who now had a reassuring arm around Hinata's shoulders only nodded.

Neji's shock from the realization that Tenten was alive, Tenten was here, Tenten was near him now, apparently had exhausted him to the point that he wasn't able to stand upright anymore. Lee guided him to the empty seat nearby.

He stared emptily at the door. Tenten was _alive._ Tenten was there.

His life was there and he was about to breathe again.

If this was merely a dream, Neji would kill himself the next morning because dream wasn't supposed to feel this real, dream wasn't supposed to—

"Neji." Lee who was sitting next to him called his name, but Neji had no energy left to look at his friend. "Please stay calm."

He couldn't.

"_I don't believe it."_

_The Fifth Hokage looked up at him tiredly. "Neji," she said gingerly, "she let herself be killed to save Lee, who couldn't move at all from the poison. She received the katana that was meant for him."_

"_I don't believe it."_

"_The enemy sensed Shikamaru's team coming." Tsunade continued, ignoring the stiff Hyuuga standing before him. "He used a rather big explosion jutsu before running away. Team Shikamaru got minor wounds, Lee got severe injuries. But Tenten…" her brown eyes closed tightly. "We assume her dead body fell off the cliff from the explosion."_

_Neji kept his gaze on the village's leader, face displayed no emotion at all. "I don't believe it."_

"_I sent a few of our skilled shinobi to come and check around the location, but they found nothing. I obviously couldn't tell them to go down the cliff to retrieve her corpse. It would be too dangerous." Her voice lowered. "I'm sorry."_

_This was a dream._

_This was a bad dream._

"_There's nothing we can__—__"_

"_Give me the man's name." Neji cut her off. "I'll go after him."_

_Tsunade took a deep breath. "You can't." She looked at the wall behind him. "This man was actually Suna's target also. In fact, they'd been after him long before Konoha. He killed one of Suna's best shinobi the day following our accident, and a week later, the team Kazekage had sent finally found and killed him."_

_This was a nightmare._

"_I'm sorry, Hyuuga Neji."_

_He didn't attend the ceremony for Tenten's death the next day._

Neji's mind came back to the present when the double door opened and the Fifth Hokage emerged. She had her eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed, drowning in deep thoughts. No one dared to say anything but Neji instantly got on his feet. "How is she?"

Tsunade looked at him, tired eyes quickly calculating. "She's alive."

* * *

**(A/N):** The relationship drama hasn't started yet. Anyway, try to listen to the song above because the chorus is just… so very NejiTen, no joking.


	2. Chapter 2

"An ANBU found her unconscious under a tree around five hundred meters away from the village's gate before dawn."

Even though today still felt like a dream to him, Neji stood silent and listened to the Hokage. He had seen Tenten five minutes ago and had intended to stay and wait for her to wake up—she'd been deeply asleep when he'd entered her room—but Tsunade had ordered him to come to her office.

He hadn't believed his own eyes the moment he'd seen Tenten, the real, alive Tenten.

He had known her too well for all these years, he remembered everything about her too well to tell that her features hadn't changed at all. Her chocolate hair, however, was longer than the last time he'd seen it. Other than a few bruises and scratches, she had no fatal injuries. Her pale face and chapped lips represented her extreme exhaustion and it was likely the lack of food that had made her look thinner.

But the most important thing was that she was alive, she was still breathing now; she wasn't dead.

"She regained consciousness when I came to check her." A faint smile curved Tsunade's lips. "Even though I told her to go to sleep and get some rest, she insisted to tell me everything first. She said she didn't want people to be worried while waiting for her to wake up again. Also, she told me to tell this to you first."

For the first time after all that had happened that day—no, the first time in four months—his heart warmed because even after their separation, after all this time, her trust in him hadn't changed.

However, Tsunade's smile faded this time. "What happened to her… it's unbelievable, but it did happen. Kintaro, the man that Tenten and Lee fought back then, didn't actually kill her. Tenten jumped to save Lee, however, the katana didn't touch her vital organs. The wound could still be healed."

Neji's eyes widened. _That was impossible._ "But Lee was sure she was dead. He would never tell a lie."

"He didn't. But he was poisoned, remember? He couldn't clearly see what actually happened. She wasn't dead. She didn't fall off the cliff."

"Then what happened to her?"

"After blocking Shikamaru's team with the explosion, Kintaro took her to his friends who had intended to kidnap her since long ago."

"Kidnapping her? What did they want?"

The blonde Hokage took a deep breath. "Not kidnapping, actually," she said carefully, "it's more like taking her back. Neji, Tenten's father was originally from The Land of Lightning."

Neji's breath stopped.

"I'm sure you know very well that there's always some tension between our village and Kumogakure. Don't give me that look, I'm not going to talk about your father and Hyuuga affair that happened years ago—we're talking about Tenten."

The Land of Lightning. His father. Tenten. Tenten's father.

"Tenten's father came from Suchiru clan, a small clan that possessed unique abilities in weapons and sealing techniques. Even if they had no bloodline limit or any notable lightning jutsu, they had good reputation as the most skilled weapon users in Kumogakure. In a fight between Konoha and Kumo years ago, almost all of Suchiru members were killed. However, one of Konoha shinobi found Tenten's father who at that time was still around one year old. Not having a heart to kill him, the shinobi brought the child to this village. With Hokage's permission, he was raised as Konoha shinobi without any surname."

_Kumogakure._

"He married a Konoha civilian several years later. Unfortunately, she passed away after giving birth to Tenten. As if that wasn't enough, her father died on a mission when she was no older than five."

_His father._

"The Third Hokage kept this as a secret even from Tenten herself. In fact, Tenten only knew about the truth of her father after she was taken by Kintaro to the other remaining members of her clan." Tsunade closed her eyes and sighed. "Actually, there are five members of Suchiru clan in The Land of Lightning left. They survived Konoha's attack back then."

_Years ago._

"Kintaro was happened to be their friend. Knowing that the remaining Suchiru had discovered Tenten's father existence in Konoha and had targeted Tenten ever since her birth, he got a good chance when he fought Tenten and Lee—he didn't kill her and took her to them instead."

_Tenten's father._

"She was held in a small house far enough from the busy village. A few days ago, they were attacked by some unidentified shinobi who sought revenge for something Suchiru clan had done in the past. One of them found Tenten locked in a room and they fought until she injured him. Seeing her clan members, no, her kidnappers engaged in the battle with their own opponents, she got a chance to escape. She passed out from exhaustion when almost reached here last night. That's how the ANBU found her."

_Tenten._

"Think about this, they're obviously still holding a grudge against Konoha for destroying their clan. They want to claim Tenten back. Not to mention, they've wanted Tenten since long ago, knowing that she inherited Suchiru's great abilities in sealing techniques and using any kind of weapons."

Neji was sure he was going to wake up now. This was too much.

"Tenten asked me to tell this to you only." Tsunade tucked her hands under her chin. "This is a sensitive matter and you're expected to keep this as a secret, even from Lee and Gai. As for the next actions, the rest is up to me as a Hokage."

"Understood."

"Well," the Hokage's lips lifted upward as she eyed him. "I'm very glad about Tenten's return. You're allowed to stay with her now."

_She'd better wake up soon._ "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

* * *

Neji's hand barely reached the doorknob when the door suddenly opened. Lee was standing there.

For a moment, somehow, no one spoke.

"Lee." Normally, it was Lee who would have spoken first, would have initiated a conversation first. Not Neji.

Lee only nodded at him. "Neji."

"How is she?"

"She's still asleep." Lee glanced behind his shoulder, voice low as to not wake his friend. "Sakura-san told us not to worry though. She's supposed to wake up at least tonight."

Neji eyed his old teammate, and for the first time in four months, he no longer denied that their interaction was always awkward now. Gone was the rivalry—even if he had never admitted that Lee was his rival; the unlimited energy his teammate had once possessed; the feel of rightness when they were together because Team Gai was a family. _Had been_ a family. Lee was just as important to him as Tenten—in a different way.

Four months was too short for a time to change anything, yet, it had happened to them. Neji knew he was the one responsible for this.

Lee was staring at him as if waiting for him to say something again, forcing him to break the silence. "You… don't want to stay here?"

"No." The taijutsu master shook his head once. "I think you both will need some privacy. Besides, Hokage-sama was kind enough to let me see her—not everyone is permitted. Gai-sensei will come back from his mission tomorrow morning and I'll visit her with him."

The Hyuuga prodigy only nodded. "I see."

Lee stepped past him, revealing the sight of Tenten lying alone in bed. Something heavy burdened Neji's feet, preventing him from walking to her even though his eyes focused on her form.

"See you later, Neji." Lee said and began walking away.

"Wait."

Lee stopped. "What is it?"

Neji struggled with his inner self. He wanted to say that he had never meant to distance himself from him, that he had never wanted to hate him. That he was sorry for ruining their bond.

But he would be lying by saying that.

Because he had actually hated and blamed Lee for Tenten's "death". He had created a distance between them.

He had hated Lee the way he had hated Hinata years ago. Just this morning, he'd lost his mind, he'd felt great anger that had almost made him hurt or even _kill_ Lee just like he'd wanted to hurt Hinata years ago, without thinking of the consequences, without using his logic and self-control and composure.

His hate for his cousin back then had been worse and far longer than this, but still. He had blamed Lee even if Tenten had done the sacrifice by her own choice, the same with Hyuuga Hizashi. Shortly, once again he had made a blind assumption and he felt like the stupidest person in this world.

Now that Tenten was back, he wasn't sure if he could put everything back in order.

"What is it, Neji?"

Neji closed his eyes. "I'm sorry." Hyuuga Neji had never said sorry often, so when he said it, he truly meant it.

Lee smiled, but his answer surprised him. "Just forget it, Neji."

"_I don't want my fault to ruin our friendship. Neji… please forgive me. I'm sorry."_

_Neji remained still and didn't even look at his friend. "Forget it."_

With that, Lee walked away, leaving the echo of his footsteps in the hallway. Leaving Neji who was staring emptily at Tenten.

* * *

Tenten tried to move her tired limbs when she felt calloused fingers stroking her hand.

Her eyes shot open in a way she'd been used to for the past four months. She was afraid. She was scared.

However, in her sight now was the person that had haunted her dreams for four months that had felt like four years, the eyes that had made her always search for moon every night even when she could never see the sky; the sharp jaw and perfect nose and long hair. His name finally rolled off her tongue—God, how she'd missed uttering it so badly.

"Neji?"

His hand covered hers, interlacing their fingers together. "Tenten."

The moment she heard his voice, tears started to gather in her wide eyes. Konoha Weapon Mistress _didn't_ cry, but crying was the only thing she wanted to do right now, as the realization where she was now dawned on her.

She was in Konoha. She was _home._

"Neji, I…"

"Shhh." He pulled her hand and pressed it to his chest just so she could feel his heartbeat. Tenten's eyes widened when she was completely sure now that this wasn't a dream. He was real, his voice was real, his heartbeat was real. "You're safe."

For a moment, they simply stared at each other, her eyes filled with hot tears as he watched her with his calm, magnificent eyes—moonlight coming from the window reflected on his eyes.

"Neji… you jerk."

He blinked, obviously hadn't expected this from her. "What?"

"I want to hug you." She said and sobbed at the same time. "Help me sit up."

Even though she caught a hint of amusement in his eyes, he did as he was told, supporting her back gently as to not hurt her more. She held back a sob when he sat beside her, wrapped his arms around her and let her head rest on his shoulder.

"I…" her voice trembled, "I've missed you. I'm tired."

"I know." He whispered back, hands rubbing her back soothingly. "I know. I'm here."

Tenten let out a snicker. "You're supposed to say you've missed me too, you know?"

He didn't answer and she felt him tense around her. "Neji?"

Neji pulled away and put his hands on her bruised cheeks carefully. Tenten gazed at him warily, only to see him wearing an expression she had never seen in all this time she had known him. Anguish, frustration, and fear filled his features. She almost gasped when she saw them; Hyuuga Neji had never showed this side of him, no. Not even to her.

It was the first time she saw him so weak, so vulnerable.

"Please," he said in a low whisper. "Never do that to me again."

Swallowing hard, Tenten shook her head frantically. "Never." _I won't make you feel like that again._

She wanted nothing but to comfort him. Ignoring her sore muscles, she leaned to his chest to relish the feel of his warm body pressed against hers and the scent of him filling her nose.

All of the fear and longing vanished.

They didn't even talk about what had happened to her for the past four months. The Hokage had obviously told him everything, and now he was wise enough to let them enjoy this quiet moment. The talk could always wait. Silence had always been an element in their relationship and they both knew it.

Tenten smiled. She was finally home.

* * *

She didn't realize she was stretching and yawning rather innocently until she heard someone made some sort of sound in his throat. That sound… it had to be Neji's weird way of laughing, for sure.

She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw his gentle lavender orbs. "Good morning."

"Good morning." His calm voice never failed to soothe her. He also looked much more relaxed this morning. "How are you feeling?"

Last night, Sakura had checked her—and had hugged her tightly with teary eyes, expressing her joy and relief to have her friend back. She had said that their comrades had been waiting for permission to see the Weapon Mistress, but Sakura had told them to wait until tomorrow. Tenten was sure the news about her return had been heard by everyone now.

Neither Neji nor Sakura had said a word about what had happened to her. Tsunade had probably told her apprentice not to ask anything about that. Tenten had a feeling that the pink haired medic had to struggle with curiosity but was wise enough to not ask her. And Neji… even if he had known everything, he was likely waiting until she was recovered enough to talk about that.

Tenten was afraid of what he would say. Neji had an unpleasant memory about The Land of Lightning, her father's homeland.

How would he react?

Neji didn't take his eyes off of her, expecting an answer, and she smiled at him. "I feel better." She could barely feel the pain from her bruises and minor wounds this morning. Sakura had done a great job. "Did you sleep last night?"

Neji smirked and she felt some familiar butterflies in her stomach—she hadn't seen that annoying but gorgeous smirk of his in four months. "What do you think?"

"Neji," she sighed, glancing at the chair he was sitting in. That wasn't a good place to sleep, obviously. "You could have gone home, you know. Your family must've been looking for you."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Hinata must've told them."

Smiling up at him, she accepted his hand as he helped her to sit up. "Thank you for staying then."

He leaned down to kiss her gently as a response. Tenten closed her eyes, content with the familiar taste of him. This was heaven, Konoha with Neji was heaven. This was…

She pulled away right when a thought struck her—it had been bothering her since last night. "Do you think Lee will come this morning?"

Tenten doubted what she saw, but she caught something unfamiliar in his eyes for a brief second. She ignored it anyway. "He will."

The morning before, Tsunade had reassured her, telling her that a team had saved Lee from that last mission. Neji had also told her that Lee and Gai-sensei were doing fine, but it did nothing to ease her urge to meet them. Especially Lee. The past four months she had been afraid that something had happened to him after she'd been stabbed, after she'd tried to save him.

She really missed Lee. Imagining how Team Gai's reunion would be made her excited and nervous at the same time.

"Do you want me to talk about that now?"

Tenten blinked. "W-what?"

Neji's eyes closed while his grip on her hand tightened. "You know what I mean."

Staring down at their hands and letting her brown bangs obscure her eyes, she murmured. "I… I don't know what you're going to say."

"I was shocked." He said softly. "I have never imagined this. I have never thought your father—"

"What do you think?" She asked, interrupting him. "Even after living with him for almost five years, I knew nothing about his past." She closed her eyes, remembering the old picture of her parents she kept in her room along with her team's one.

"No one has ever told you before. Not your fault."

The brunette kunoichi chewed her lower lip. "Yes. But of all villages, he was from Kumogakure. Your clan…"

Neji caught her chin with his fingers, lifting her face up so she had to look at him. "You have nothing to do with it."

Tenten sighed mentally. That was right. Even if half of her blood was Kumogakure, she would always be a kunoichi of Konoha and she had nothing to do with what happened to Hyuuga clan years ago.

"I'm sorry I couldn't escape sooner," she murmured. "If those shinobi hadn't attacked them, I wouldn't have been able to escape."

"Don't say that. I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

Shaking her head firmly, Tenten squeezed Neji's hand. "No, Neji. It's not anyone's fault, not your fault. I'm here now."

In silence, pale orbs eyed her intensely that she almost couldn't breathe.

"Is there something else?"

Her heart raced madly all of a sudden and she pulled her hand back. No. Not now. _Please, not now._

She was not, and would never be prepared.

The Hyuuga watched her silently but she kept her mouth shut.

"It's alright." He said finally, making her breathe easily again. He rose from his chair and walked to the window. "Do you need some sunlight?"

She cleared her throat. "Yes, please."

Neji opened the window quietly. Warm morning sunlight and fresh air trickled into the room—she'd been longing to feel this—as she finally saw the blue sky and a few little birds flying outside. It was like Konoha welcomed her back.

The kunoichi was drowning in the sight outside the window when the Hyuuga turned around and faced her. "I'm sorry. I have to go now."

"Why?" A childish and non-kunoichi part of her felt scared of being left alone after all that had happened. As sappy as it sounded, she felt safe with him.

"I have a few things to take care of at home." Neji made his way to her bed. "I'll come back soon, I promise. I won't be assigned to any mission today."

"But Lee and Gai-sensei will probably come here soon. Don't you want to be here when they come?"

"I want to," Neji kissed her forehead briefly. "But I need to go."

Reluctantly, Tenten nodded.

"Don't be scared. Sakura told me the access to this room has been secured. No one will be able to come here without permission."

Tenten smiled. Neji had always understood her better than anyone else. "Okay. Don't take too long."

"I won't." He leaned forward again, this time to capture her lips. He broke the kiss after a few seconds and squeezed her shoulder gently before leaving.

After the door closed, Tenten let out a sigh and shifted to lie down again, staring at the white ceiling above. As much as she wanted him to be here, he had his own business and other things to be done.

And when Neji said he would come back, he would come back.

Not until a minute later someone knocked on the door, almost making her jump in surprise. Whoever it was, that would mean Sakura had finally allowed their friends to come. Excited and hopeful, she turned her face to the door. "Come in."

Her teammate, her best friend she had almost given her life for, appeared after the door slid open. He smiled at her in a way she had missed for so long.

"Tenten."

Tears had formed in her eyes before she knew it. "Lee?"

* * *

**(A/N):** Is it too late to squeal while watching episode 398, particularly over another Neji-silently-protecting-Tenten scene in that? You see, this couple is still alive!

Please review even if this chapter was dissatisfying. We haven't reached the crucial part yet.


	3. Chapter 3

What was wrong with him?

Neji buried his hands deep into his pockets. When he'd looked down from the window of Tenten's hospital room, he had seen Lee heading to the building. He wasn't sure if his encounter with Lee wouldn't be awkward in front of Tenten, so he had decided to leave and give the room to the two best friends. He knew Tenten wouldn't like it if she knew there had been a tension between him and Lee.

Although she would find out sooner or later, for sure. Neji could only hope she could resolve the problem between the two most important men in her life. If anything, Tenten had always been his and Lee's "older sister", ready to scold the two whenever they got into an unnecessary fight.

At least he hadn't lied to her when he'd said he had a few things to do at home. He needed to take a quick shower and clean his room. He also had to make sure he showed up in the compound this morning just so his family wouldn't be suspicious or something.

With that thought, Neji quickened his pace.

* * *

"Lee?"

Lee lifted one hand to greet her. "Welcome back. Tenten."

Tenten was never one to cry a lot, but after seeing Neji again last night she felt that she was being emotional right now. She let out a joyful laugh despite her tears. "Lee! Come here."

In the blink of an eye, Lee was suddenly in front of her, pulling her into a tight hug. "Tenten, I-I'm," he stammered, "I'm glad you're back."

Smiling widely, Tenten pushed her friend gently and placed both hands on his shoulders. "Lee. How are you?"

The shiny haired man looked at her with tearful eyes. "I'm fine."

Ruffling his hair affectionately—Lee had always been her younger brother in their years together—Tenten laughed and mocked him. "Don't look like that, silly. I'm real. I'm not a ghost."

Lee shook his head and wiped away his tears with his sleeve. "Tenten. I'm sorry."

Knowing what he meant, Tenten sighed and motioned for him to sit beside her. "I did what I needed to do. I just wanted to protect you. Don't be sorry."

"But because of me, you had to… you had to—"

"No." Tenten smiled at him confidently. "That was not your fault. Don't worry."

"But what happened to you?"

_I can't tell you._ "I wasn't dead," she said. "I was kidnapped, that's all."

"Kidnapped? But—"

"They wanted something from Konoha." Tenten saw Lee's thick eyebrows draw together. For a brief moment she felt bad and she wanted to tell him everything; she hated lying. _Except this wasn't actually lying_, she convinced herself the very next second. "I'm sorry, Lee, but Tsunade-sama told me that was village's matter. I returned safely, that's all."

Lee's expression told her that he still wanted to ask more, but she punched his shoulder playfully. "Honestly, Lee, what happened to your springtime of youth while I was gone? Come on, cheer up!"

He smiled even if only slightly. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Tenten waved her hand dismissively, not wanting him to ask for details about how she had been able to come back. "Where's Gai-sensei? I cannot wait to see him."

Hearing their teacher's name did light up Lee. One thing she had learnt after their years together; talk about Gai-sensei if you wanted Lee to switch topics. "Gai-sensei is still reporting his mission at Hokage office. Because the mission was a secret I was told to go visit you first and that he would be here in a minute. He said he couldn't wait to see you, Tenten! He cried when I told him you were back."

Tenten cringed, imagining them giving each other a youthful hug while bawling in happiness right at the Konoha gate, watched by the disturbed Kotetsu and Izumo. "I hope everything was fine while I was gone. I don't know if Neji could handle you two without me."

She chuckled at herself, picturing Neji's priceless expression everytime the two Green Beasts forced him to do something ridiculous. He had once said that the only reason he had never Jyuuken-ed them after all this time was because she loved them. She wondered how could the two were still alive now even after her "death" for four months long.

Lee didn't answer.

"Lee?"

The round eyed man looked up and smiled. "Do you need something right now, Tenten? I'll get it for you."

Tenten frowned and eyed him for a while. Other than the fact that Lee hadn't mentioned anything related to youth since he'd appeared at the door, he looked slightly troubled with something. "Are you alright, Lee?"

"Yes. By the way," Lee glanced at the chair Neji had been sitting in before. "Where's Neji?"

"He went home to take care of a few things." Tenten could hear the disappointment in her own tone, so she continued with a more cheerful voice. "He'll be back in any minute though, so let's just wait until he and Gai-sensei come, okay? Oh, and I cannot wait until I'm released from this boring place. We'll finally get assigned to missions together again! By the way, I haven't visited that new dango shop near academy building. You promised to take me there before we went to our last mission, remember?"

She felt relieved when she saw Lee grin before he responded enthusiastically, making exciting plans for Team Gai to do together.

* * *

Neji opened the door for her.

Tenten stepped inside, brown eyes wide as they observed the room. "Nothing changed. And it's clean."

He followed her after closing the door. "I've cleaned this place everytime I came here."

This time, her gaze shifted to him. "Neji… you've been coming here while I was gone?"

_Yes, because I always thought you were still here. I've must lost my sanity. _"Yes."

Tenten smiled and hugged him briefly. "Thank you."

He turned her around and led her to the living room with both hands on her shoulders. "Sit down while I make us tea."

The Hyuuga could see her about to protest when he pushed her onto the couch none too gently, but he quickly shut her up with a kiss. He pulled away after a brief moment, but Tenten held his face and kissed him back, pouring herself into the kiss in a familiar way he had so missed.

Neji almost sighed. They hadn't kissed like this since the past four months. The kisses they had shared in the hospital had only been filled with gentleness, relief and happiness; not to mention they had been interrupted once by a laughing Kiba, a very red Hinata, a squealing Ino and an uninterested Shikamaru.

Tenten stopped him when he moved to capture her lips again, then giggled when he grunted in disappointment. "Where's my tea?"

"I hate you," he said in a mocking tone, earning a sweet laugh from her as he got up and went to the kitchen.

But Neji's smirk disappeared the moment he stood in the kitchen alone.

He leaned back to the wall and closed his eyes.

He was grateful to have her back. He thanked the heavens that she wasn't dead, that he could hold her in his arms again. But something still troubled him.

About Lee, he guessed he didn't have to be worried anymore. He had never thought Lee was a capable actor until yesterday, when they'd finally met in Tenten's hospital room. Neji had given up, he couldn't avoid Lee forever. The taijutsu master had acted natural as if nothing had happened between them. They'd even talked to each other, and as usual Lee had been the one to start the conversation. As for Gai-sensei who had known everything, he too had said nothing. It relieved him because it seemed that Tenten had no suspicion about anything.

Although Neji wasn't too sure whether their previous tension still bothered Lee or not, he was content with the thought that Team Gai had been complete again. Tenten had also seemed more than happy to be back with them and her bright expression had been enough for him to enjoy the team's reunion yesterday.

Even so, Neji knew something wasn't right from the time he'd asked her at the hospital. It was clear that Tenten was hiding something. He knew her well enough to tell that something was bothering her and the fact that she was hiding it from him only made it worse.

Neji ran a palm over his face before finally finishing preparing the tea, making a mental note to ask her about that soon.

Tenten sat straight and smiled at him as he handed her favorite mug, shifting to provide more space for him to sit. "If I haven't said this before, let me tell you that you make the best tea in the world."

The Hyuuga sat down before sipping his own tea. "If I haven't said this before, let me tell you that tea reminds me of you."

"Me?" Tenten grinned. "Why?"

Neji stared into the mug in his hand. "I don't know."

The brunette kunoichi snuggled closer to him and leaned her head to his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I have given you such a hard time. I didn't mean to."

Father had also never meant to do that, Neji thought. "I know."

Tenten sighed and murmured again. "You know I can't hide anything from you, don't you?"

Neji blinked. He hadn't expected her to talk about that without him having to ask. "Yes."

Tenten set her mug on the coffee table next to the couch. She took a deep breath and Neji began preparing himself to hear anything—judging from the way she clutched the fabric of her pants, he wasn't going to like it.

What was it?

"Do you know what they've always wanted?"

Neji's frown deepened. "Taking you back from Konoha?"

"Not just that." Tenten looked down. "Since I inherited the clan's weapon and sealing abilities, they…" he could see her hands shaking, "t-they wanted me to marry my distant cousin to produce children for them."

His body felt cold. So cold.

"I didn't have any choice and I let… him." She struggled to speak. "I'm sorry. I told Tsunade-sama not to tell you."

Neji did not look at her, for his heart aching at the thought that for the past four months, someone had been touching her, had been using her. Had been with her as if she was a machine to produce the next generation of their clan. "Why?" he asked, voice hoarse. "Why didn't you fight them?"

"I couldn't refuse, Neji…"

"You are not the Weapon Mistress of Konoha for nothing, Tenten."

"I couldn't!" Tenten said, louder this time. "I couldn't fight them!"

"But you gave up." His voice lowered. "You gave_ yourself_ to him. What were you thinking?"

"Do you really think I wanted to?" He heard her taking a deep breath. "They got nothing from me after all, Neji. I've never been pregnant with his child."

His chest felt heavy that he found it hard to speak. The image of Tenten forced to marry a man, her _cousin _to make it worse; the image of them spending the nights together even if she didn't want to… No. This was not what he had ever imagined. What had always been his images were Tenten and _him_, married in a small wedding attended only by a few people, Tenten and him, waking up together and smiling at each other every morning in a small but comfortable room. Tenten and him.

He felt the strong urge to slaughter all of her kidnappers.

"Neji, please." she pleaded. "Please forget about that. I want to move on with you and leave the past behind. Please think of that… as a kunoichi mission, okay? It's over and—"

"Kunoichi mission." He let out a bitter laugh and stood up, fingers tightening around his mug. "Kunoichi mission, huh? May I remind you that you have never been to any kunoichi mission before and I have made Tsunade-sama agree that you would never have to take it?"

"You don't understand!" She stood up as well. "I didn't have any choice."

"You should have done something."

She sobbed aloud, and he felt more than saw her tears rolling down her cheeks. "I couldn't! I know I'm weak, I'm sorry!"

That was not what he meant. Neji had never wanted to call her weak, on the contrary he knew how capable she was, but at that time he didn't feel the need to explain. He closed his eyes, struggling to regain his breath. "You should've—"

"They threatened me, Neji! If I refused to marry him, they were going to tell some lies about Hyuuga clan and provoke some people in Kumogakure, even the Raikage, to try to steal the secret of Byakugan again by kidnapping Hinata or her sister and they also threatened that they would hurt you and I couldn't, Neji, I couldn't let them do that!"

Neji's eyes widened in shock as he finally looked at her.

"All they had to do was mention your name, Neji," she said and gazed up at him through tears, "and I would give up anything to protect you."

His instinct told him to pull her into his arms and kiss her for her devotion to him but he did nothing, too shocked at the fact that she had done such a sacrifice for him.

And he, for as long as he knew, had never done anything as big as that for her. "You didn't need to…"

"To what?" she sighed tiredly. "There are times when I have to protect you. It's not always about you protecting me—"

"That's not what I meant!" Neji said loudly, in frustration throwing his mug plus its content to the floor a few steps away from him, not missing how she flinched in shock at the shattering sound. "That's—"

He paused only because he spotted the fear in her brown eyes.

"I understand you, Neji," she said hoarsely after a few seconds of silence. "I know you have never liked to share. I know you find it painful to imagine me ever married to someone else, have been touched by another man. But…" she closed her dark eyes and it only made him feel worse at how hurt she looked. "Please understand that it is over, that I want to forget everything and continue living with you. We can get over it together."

"Give me time."

Her eyes shot open in shock.

Neji let out a shaky breath. "I need some time alone."

He saw her swallowing hard and wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. Without another word, she turned around and headed to her room.

Neji slumped into the couch after she disappeared, groaning to himself in frustration.

He had probably exaggerated the entire problem, but. Did Tenten have to make him like this? Feeling hatred towards her clan and angry but hopeless because there was nothing left to do—he could not revenge because Tsunade had said it was village matter. Feeling afraid and scared that someone was going to take her away from him and hurt her once again. Feeling weak because _she_ had protected him while he had done nothing for her.

He was familiar with these feelings. His father.

* * *

Tenten rolled over in her bed, burying her face deep into the pillow to avoid the light coming from the window.

All she inhaled was Neji's scent and she smiled sadly.

He hadn't lied when he'd said he'd been visiting and taking care of her apartment since her "death". It had made her heart swell at first even if she could imagine how depressed Neji had been after she'd gone. She knew Neji, he actually was easy to be unhappy.

After he went on an extreme mission that required him to kill people, he would come home and wordlessly ask her to embrace him, to let him rest his head on her shoulder and they both would stay like that for minutes without talking. On his father's birthday, he would ask her to cook Hizashi's favorite food and they would visit the memorial stone and just stand there together for a long time.

She knew who he really was.

Tenten closed her eyes. She meant every word she had said to him last night. She just wanted to forget about her forced marriage in Kumogakure, about the nights she had spent with the man she had never known or loved, about everything. They didn't have big arguments very often so it scared her, but perhaps Neji had been too shocked last night. She was sure he just needed a little time to accept the reality. He would soon find his composure and everything would be normal again.

Reluctantly Tenten got off the bed. She ran a hand through her messy dark tresses and walked to the kitchen to get some breakfast. Neji must've had left after their fight. She hadn't noticed, been too tired last night that she'd fallen asleep with eyes red from crying as soon as she'd thrown herself into the bed.

Her steps halted when she spotted Neji sitting in her kitchen, facing a mug of tea on the dining table. He didn't glance at her and greet her as usual even if he knew she was standing in the doorway.

"Good morning." She said hesitantly, hoping that he was feeling better now.

"Good morning." There was nothing wrong with the way he answered, but Tenten still felt uneasy.

She started to hate the silence. "Wouldn't your family be looking for you?"

"No." He said shortly. "There's… something I want to tell you."

"Oh." Tenten tried her best to sound calm. "What is that?"

He looked at her for a few moments before those pale eyes of his closed. "Give me some time."

She bit her chapped lower lip. "You mean last night wasn't enough to calm yourself?"

Neji shook his head once. "Listen to me." His eyes opened and she was suddenly afraid, as if something bad was going to happen. "I hurt you last night. You didn't deserve any of my words. I should've listened and comforted you. I'm sorry."

She looked at her toes. "Don't worry about that."

"I don't want to hurt you again."

She lifted her head up as her eyes widened in disbelief. "What are you afraid of, Neji? You—you would never hurt me."

"Give me time."

Tenten knew by time, he meant more than just one night. "To what?"

"To learn," he said and her heart lurched when she looked into his eyes—his eyes were empty and his expression was unreadable and it broke her heart because he felt different. "I want to be stronger and braver for you. I have to learn to deal with emotions so things like last night will not happen again." A pause. "We are shinobi, Tenten."

She knew by _we are shinobi_, he meant _we shouldn't cling to emotions like this._

"I understand," she managed to say it even if she felt like dreaming. "We need some time alone." A bitter chuckle. "I probably need to get stronger too. We are shinobi."

Tenten knew that shinobi didn't love, shinobi fought.

The room was quiet for a minute. Finally, he stood up and walked to where she was standing. She wanted to stop him and change his mind, she wanted to give him thousands of reason to stay, but she knew the best thing was give him some time to distance himself from her, to cool his head and rethink about everything.

She just stepped aside to allow him the access to walk out. She knew who Neji was. He would come back when he was tired of shinobi life. When he was tired of killing people, tired of arguing with the heads of his clan.

When he realized that he, Hyuuga Neji, was not just a strong shinobi; he was a human and he needed someone to be with him.

Still, she felt the need to ask. "Will you come back?"

"When I get braver," he paused when he walked past her. "I'll come to you. I won't be with somebody else."

Hot tears escaped from her eyes. "Take your time."

After hearing the sound of the front door closed, Tenten wiped her eyes and walked to the table to grab his favorite mug. She sipped the lukewarm tea slowly.

It tasted bitter.

* * *

**(A/N):** I was dead for weeks. Seriously. No time, no motivation and no idea to continue. Please tell me if something is wrong with this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

For Tenten, it had been a long time since that morning.

The first few days, she hadn't even talked to him. It was until their mission together that they'd finally stopped avoiding each other. Tenten still remembered their first encounterafter the fight; awkward and formal, and God, she hadn't known being near him and talking to him would ever make her uncomfortable that way.

During the mission, she'd tried her best to be professional, forgetting all that he'd said in her kitchen that morning. She could see him acting normally too. It wasn't too hard because even before this, they had barely displayed their affection in public—no kisses, no holding hands—especially during missions. All she had to do was act as if they were still _only_ friends. Only teammates, only partners. Nothing more. She could easily do it considering she had been his partner for so long, as pathetic as it was.

And Neji? Neji needed time.

It shouldn't have been surprising. Neji always needed time before he accepted something. He'd needed time to accept the reality about his father and his status in Hyuuga clan, he'd needed time to accept Hinata as his cousin, he'd needed time to accept the two Green Beasts in his team. He had needed time to accept her in his life; they had been through a long road before finally getting to this point.

Yes, he just needed time to be braver and stronger for her, and he would come back sooner or later. Tenten had always been an optimist, which was why she refused to cry like a heartbroken woman after he'd left. Kunoichi didn't cry.

Even if she had to move on from her experience in Kumogakure alone. That was the hardest part.

"Tenten, look, that's Neji!"

Tenten nearly jumped and looked around frantically. "Where?"

Lee grinned sheepishly at her. "I'm sorry, Tenten. I was lying."

The brunette kunoichi glared at him, realizing that Neji was still on his solo mission and she wouldn't see him until tomorrow. Not wanting to be alone at home, she had asked Lee to train with her and now they were resting under a tree after two hours of intense sparring. "That's not funny."

"But, Tenten," Lee cried, "you weren't listening to me! What's bothering you? I will gladly help!"

"I'm fine." The weapon specialist merely shrugged, stretching her sore legs. "What were we talking about?"

"Is it something between you and Neji?"

Hearing his name again, her head snapped up in an instant. "What? No."

Lee stared at her solemnly. "You know what I'm talking about. I am your friend, Tenten. And Neji is my rival. I know him."

She closed her eyes, feeling more exhausted than she actually was. "How do you know that?"

"I just know," he said firmly. Tenten took a moment to remember that Lee, despite his exuberant personality, was actually sharp enough to note if something wasn't right. "You both have been acting strangely. I thought you two would spend most of the time together after your return, but…"

"Neji is busier than us, you know," she said quietly. "Longer missions and clan business and all."

The taijutsu user shook his head. "I see he never comes to your apartment again."

About this, she had nothing to say. She couldn't deny it. It had been only a few days and she had found herself missing his presence at her apartment, and the little things—like the smell of morning tea he always made.

"What happened?"

Tenten analyzed the look on Lee's face and all she could see was concern. Years of companionship finally forced her to reveal the partial truth. After all, there really was no point to hide forever. He would find out soon. "We had a fight."

He didn't look surprised. "When?"

"The day I was released from the hospital." She didn't want to say that she and Neji had broken up—no, she would always be his friend and partner. There wouldn't be _breaking up_ for them. "That's all."

"I suppose that was a big fight."

Tenten let out an awkward laugh. "Not really. Any fight without me throwing my weapons isn't considered a big fight."

Unlike usual, Lee didn't seem amused. Instead he frowned, making her slightly uncomfortable. "You've just returned, Tenten. He shouldn't have left you."

"Well, it happened," Tenten couldn't stop herself from retorting. "What, do you think I'm lying?"

Her teammate winced, looking slightly hurt. "I don't think you're lying, Tenten."

Tenten sighed and blew her bangs out of her eyes. "Sorry."

"No." Lee's voice came out almost in a whisper. "I am sorry, Tenten. It's probably because of me."

"What?" Tenten lifted her head and snickered. "You have nothing to do with it."

Her best friend opened his mouth to say something, but stopped before any word could come out. He looked troubled, if not guilty as if he had done something wrong.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Lee?"

The shake of his head only grew her suspicion more. "No, it's nothing."

Tenten sighed. "Lee. Please tell me." She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "When it comes to Neji, you shouldn't hide it from me."

Lee gazed at her with the same guilty expression. "Promise me you won't tell Neji?"

"Yes."

He watched her for a few seconds, looking unsure. "He… avoided me after you were claimed dead."

It took her a moment to process Lee's words.

"I knew I was the one to blame. I did know." Lee paused to take a deep breath. "There wasn't a day I didn't blame myself for what had happened. I was extremely devastated, Tenten. I had to deal with the fact that you were gone, that it was because of me, and that Neji… Neji blamed me, even if he had never said anything. Not even Gai-sensei could make me feel better."

It wasn't that Tenten had never expected this. While she'd been suffering alone in Kumogakure, she had thought about this many times. Knowing Neji, knowing how easily he lost control when he was upset despite his calm and stoic nature, she'd known he would put the blame on Lee.

However, after returning and seeing that everything seemed fine between Neji and Lee, her worry had been erased. Then again, it wasn't that she had nothing else to worry about.

"I'm sorry, Tenten. Perhaps that is why Neji—"

"Calm down, Lee," Tenten interrupted softly. "We didn't even mention your name when we were arguing."

"But…" Lee said hesitantly, "I'm still feeling guilty about this."

She let out a sigh again. "How many times do I have to tell you this? I have returned. It's over and I don't regret saving you even if I had to deal with what happened afterwards."

"But I didn't say that I forgave him when he apologized! That's probably why he was mad at you, and—and…"

Tenten stared at him in disbelief. "Neji apologized to you?"

Lee swallowed as if he had just revealed something he shouldn't have said. "Yes."

"And what did you say?"

Lee's features were filled with shame and regret that she wondered why he hadn't shed any tear yet. "I… I said what he had always said everytime I went to apologize to him. I just told him to forget it." He kept his gaze down, not meeting her look. "I meant it, Tenten, I swear. I want him to forget it. I just want Team Gai back."

That was why Lee acted naturally as if nothing had happened between him and Neji. And Neji, well, he was just always good at pretending.

Lee rubbed his eyes. "I shouldn't have told you this."

"Yes, you should have told me." Tenten said sternly. "I have the right to know."

"Please don't say anything about this to Neji." He looked at her, somehow pleadingly. "Please Tenten. I don't want…"

"I won't." She murmured.

There was a pause while Tenten played with grasses between her fingers, thinking about how everything could happen and change in just four months. "I didn't know I made you two that miserable, Lee." She had never wanted to.

"Three, Tenten. You shall not forget Gai-sensei."

"Alright, you three. I know that it killed Gai-sensei too. I'm really sorry."

"You shouldn't be. It was my fault."

Tenten couldn't help but chuckle. "I blame myself and you just blame yourself. This argument is getting us nowhere. Let's just forget it, okay?"

Lee still looked uncertain. "But how about you and Neji, Tenten? You—"

"Everything will be fine," Tenten said, half to reassure him, half to convince herself. Giving her best friend a confident smile, Tenten reached for his hand and squeezed it briefly. "Don't worry. He's just being… sensitive, I guess."

Lee blinked innocently. "Is it his time of the month as you often call it, Tenten?"

Tenten laughed, trying to feel relaxed as long as Lee was around, grateful for his presence when she was having a hard time with Neji. She could think about everything later at night, when she was alone in her room.

* * *

Hours later, the Weapon Mistress sighed in frustration and looked down at her feet as she walked.

She had made Neji and Lee suffer like that. Of course she had been aware of it, but she had never wanted to be the reason for them to fight, or worse, to hate each other. Even if everything looked fine between the two now, Tenten still had doubts.

She lifted her head up to look at the sky. Honestly, she just wanted to look above, but unexpectedly her eyes caught the sight of someone familiar walking in the opposite direction of her.

Tenten stopped walking immediately, her heart racing nervously as Neji came nearer. Why was he here already? No one had told her he would come back sooner than scheduled. Swallowing hard, Tenten braced herself to look at him—he was watching her with the same unreadable expression and the same cold, pale eyes. He was tired, she could see it, and how he needed a good shower and fresh clothes. Tenten held back the urge to run to him, to offer him his favorite dish for dinner and a nice massage before sleep. In their years together, she had always been the one to take care of him as if she was his mother.

God, she needed to stop thinking about it.

Neji sent her a glance and Tenten stopped him when he was near. She had to.

"Neji, wait."

"What?"

Even if she felt relieved because it didn't seem that he was impatient or annoyed at her, there was a lump in her throat because he really sounded like a stranger now. It was the tone he always used to anyone else, never to her. "I…"

Neji didn't move, without raising his eyebrow, without saying anything.

"I know what happened between you and Lee." He needed to know that she knew; if he thought he could hide something important from her, he was wrong.

The look in his eyes didn't change. "Nothing happened."

Tenten inhaled deeply. "Look, Neji, I don't really want to talk about it but I have to." She crossed her arms, convincing herself that she always had to be brave when it came to Neji. "You made Lee suffer while I was gone. He was drowning in guilt. Have you ever thought about how bad he felt?"

She knew she had just broken her promise to Lee, but she had no choice. She needed to tell Neji that it was none of Lee's fault. She also didn't want him to blame Lee for her forced marriage. No. "You shouldn't have blamed him. He never asked me to sacrifice myself for him. It was my own decision."

The Hyuuga's face still didn't show any reaction. "And?"

"And you'd better make it up to him," Tenten said firmly. "I've never wanted to ruin your bond. I know there's nothing going on between us anymore, but," she cleared her throat, trying to find better words, "about my forced marriage, just please don't blame Lee again, okay?"

And he just stuffed his hands into his pockets, walking past her casually as if she was just a stranger and he didn't know her.

"Hey!" Tenten spun around, watching his back in disbelief. "Can you at least listen to me? Stop being an arrogant bastard, dammit!"

Neji stopped before he got far without looking back at her. Her heart lurched—he was probably mad at her for insulting him—but he remained calm, even if his shoulders were visibly tense.

"Your forced marriage," he said in a steady voice, "is not my business."

It was unbelievable, how certain words had the power to hurt more than any weapon ever could. Tenten's fingernails dug painfully into her palms, her eyes wide as she watched him walk away.

Now she was sure that he wasn't the Neji she knew.

* * *

It was a beautiful evening.

Neji glared up at the sky as though it was mocking him. He absolutely didn't feel alright now, but the orange sun, the colored clouds and sky, and people around him looked fine, looked happy. Could at least one of them feel bad for him?

That damn morning in her apartment hadn't been as easy as it had seemed. She didn't know it, but he'd secretly felt more than guilty to see her staring at him in disbelief after he'd said he was going to leave. Yet, the fact was the more his chest felt heavy, the more it told him that he did need to leave.

Tenten reminded him so much of his father.

The news about Tenten's death had been as painful as his father's years ago. Tenten had also been the reason of his ruined friendship with Lee, just like his father who had been the reason of his hatred towards Hinata. They both taught him about love, and at the same time, made him suffer.

Neji hated the way they made him weak. Tenten and his father had the same power: to reveal who he truly was. The vulnerable Hyuuga Neji, the not-so-strong Hyuuga Neji, the _sentimental_ Hyuuga Neji.

And what had he said? He needed time to get braver and stronger for her? He should've had told her that they perhaps needed to stop needing each other like this. They weren't weak civilians, they were fighters. _Shinobi didn't love, shinobi fought._

He quickened his pace to his living quarters in Hyuuga compound, repressing his urge to punch something or someone—not Tenten, of course, even if she was the cause of this. As if she wasn't done torturing him after all this time, she had added another problem.

_You made Lee suffer while I was gone. He was drowning in guilt. Have you ever thought about how bad he felt?_

Was that what she really thought about? About how _Lee _had suffered because of _him_? Did she have no clue about how suffering _Neji_ had been and how guilty he'd felt because he couldn't do anything to bring her back? It turned out she cared about Lee more than him.

He had lied about her forced marriage—obviously it was his business, it was his problem too that he couldn't stop thinking about that even after he'd started to distance himself from her. He had been too angry that she was concerned about Lee more than him and thus, the words had slipped out of his mouth. No doubt, she was mad at him now and it would just make the situation worse.

"Neji."

Neji closed his eyes and stopped. Of all times, why did his uncle have to appear now? Reluctantly, he turned around and bowed out of habit. "Uncle."

Hyuuga Hiashi nodded once, his arms folded beneath the heavy Hyuuga robe. "We need to talk about something."

Neji was exhausted and hungry and upset. The combination wasn't too nice, but he appeared calm for he was in no position to object any of his uncle's orders. "What is it, Uncle?"

There was a pause, indicating that what Hiashi was going to say wasn't something good.

"How is your relationship with Tenten?"

Of all topics, it had to be her. "Tenten?"

"Yes, Tenten." Hiashi looked at him with similar piercing pale eyes. "How is your relationship with her?"

Neji was too shocked to answer. Hiashi, as far as he was concerned, had never asked him anything about his relationship with Tenten. His uncle had known her since their Genin years, knowing that the two always trained together. At the beginning of their relationship, Neji had made some efforts to hide her from his family, but after a certain point he had no longer cared about that. Hiashi, and no doubt other members of the clan, had of course heard it. Or probably they had asked Hinata about Neji's love life out there.

Either way, never once had Hiashi said a word concerning their relationship. Neji had always liked to think that Hiashi had no objections about him being with Tenten. One of very few advantages of being a Branch member was that they generally weren't obligated to marry someone the clan picked. Even if they would do it to him, Neji had made his decision even before he'd started his relationship with Tenten; clan's order or not, he wouldn't marry someone he didn't want to.

Neji cleared his throat. "Pardon me, Uncle. Why do you need to…"

"To ask?" Hiashi continued for him. "I just need to know."

The younger Hyuuga regarded his uncle for a few seconds. Of course there was something that motivated Hiashi to ask him about this and Neji had a bad feeling.

"Neji."

"We're doing fine."

That was a lie. Neji couldn't bring himself to tell Hiashi the truth. He just couldn't tell him about their current situation.

The Hyuuga's head stared at him for a long time while Neji could only hope his uncle couldn't spot his lie. Thankfully, the older man turned around to leave. "I see. Go take some rest. We have a meeting tomorrow morning."

Holding back the urge to groan at the thought of family meeting, Neji closed his eyes tightly. He felt like sleeping until tomorrow night to forget how frustrated he really was. "Understood."

"And, Neji."

"Yes?"

Hiashi paused for a while. "Make sure you know who she is."

* * *

**(A/N):** Anyone still interested in this story? Life's never been this busy and I just can't update weekly.


	5. Chapter 5

Tenten sighed audibly as she reached into her pouch, searching for a kunai to play with. She had just left Hokage's office after failing to persuade Tsunade to assign her to a mission. Her childhood idol had raised an eyebrow when she'd begged for a mission, saying there was no mission suitable for her today and that she'd better enjoy her day off while she could.

Normally, shinobi requested a mission on their free day only when running out of money. Or things like that. This time, however, Tenten was bored to death and wanted to do something.

The moment she'd opened her eyes that morning, she'd known it was going to be another bad day. Waking up three hours later than usual was honestly a quite bad sign. Since her first years of being a kunoichi, she had always woken up early—except if she had just come back from a long mission the night before. If one of his students woke up late, Gai would reprimand them for being unyouthful and lacking morning stamina. Neji, too, had always liked to train with her before sunrise.

Tenten almost rolled her eyes at herself. That name again.

She didn't usually ask Lee to spar, but when she'd asked him that afternoon, he'd politely and formally declined because Hokage had just called him and Gai for an unexpected mission. Tenten had left him sulkily, ignoring her hyperactive teammate's cries of apology.

It was already evening and she hadn't even done anything productive today. She hadn't even thought about how much she actually missed sparring with Neji before this. Losing him meant she lost not only a lover, but also a training partner. Falling in love with her best friend, Tenten thought, perhaps was a mistake.

"Tenten-san!"

Tenten stopped walking upon hearing a soft voice from behind. She turned around and met a pair of familiar pale eyes—only they were gentler this time. "Oh, hello Hinata."

The two were on good terms even if they only met when assigned to the same mission or when Ino and Sakura invited them to go out. Knowing that Hinata had supported her relationship with Neji from the start, Tenten wondered if she had found out about their breakup. The girl wouldn't know, though, unless she was happened to notice that they stopped training together, and that Neji never spent time at her apartment again. Neji, after all, had never liked to share his personal matters with people no matter how close he was to them.

"Um…" Hinata suddenly blushed, her expression bright and hopeful. "When do you plan to come, Tenten-san?"

"What?" Tenten blinked.

White eyes similar to Neji's widened in surprise. "H-he hasn't told you yet?"

"Told me what?" The Weapon Mistress asked back in confusion. It had been three days since she'd met him that evening, and she could still hear his words echoing in her head. _Your forced marriage isn't my business anymore._

"Uh…" Staring at the ground, the younger kunoichi started to poke her two fingers together nervously, a habit she had never left since her childhood. "I-it's nothing."

Hinata was never good at lying, Tenten remembered. She just had to push her a little bit more. "Are you sure? What do you mean by Neji hasn't told me something?"

The long haired girl finally looked up. "I-I'm not supposed to tell you, Tenten-san. I thought Neji-nii-san would…"

Tenten sighed again, inwardly this time, having a feeling that something wasn't right. A quick glance around reminded her that they were standing practically in front of Hokage's office gate, not a perfect place to have a long talk. She wore her best smile and linked her arm through Hinata's. "It's probably been a year since we had tea together. What do you think?"

Sitting down with two steaming cups of tea and some dango didn't seem to ease Hinata's nervousness. Tenten sipped her tea in silence, waiting patiently for her friend to say something first.

"I'm glad you returned, Tenten-san."

Brown eyes shifted from a painting on the wall to Hinata. Smiling, she wrapped her fingers around the warm cup. "Thanks."

"I've never seen him mourning like that before." Hinata said softly before quickly adding. "S-since his father's death."

Tenten forced a soft laugh to come out. "I shouldn't have made him struggling with grief for the second time." _I've been giving him hard times only,_ she mused, deciding to not voice that out.

The Hyuuga heiress shook her head. "N-no. I don't think he would ever blame you."

Yes, but he did blame Lee. It was even worse, she thought. "You said he hasn't told me something. What is that?"

Crimson streaked across pale cheeks as Hinata sank into her chair. "He wouldn't be happy if I told you first."

"Did something happen to him?" Tenten asked again. She couldn't help but hate the fact that she could still feel concerned about him despite everything, despite all that he had said.

"Y-yes. Nothing is bad, actually."

"What is that?"

Hinata took a deep breath as if preparing herself. "In four months, he will be the clan head, Tenten-san."

Tenten almost gasped. The information was too shocking for her to process.

"You can't be serious," she whispered.

"I-I'm not lying." Neji's cousin shook her head in panic. "T-the council announced this in a meeting two days ago."

Various questions swirled in Tenten's head. He was a Branch member, bearing the curse seal that told him he couldn't escape his fate as a subordinate no matter how strong he was. How could they accept him and choose him as the next clan leader?

"I know it's surprising," Hinata said softly, "but my father and the Elders have always had their eyes on him since the past few years."

"But you're the heiress." Tenten stated, hiding the slight bitterness as she remembered how unfair it was that Neji and his father were to serve Hinata and her father, all just because Neji's father was born a couple minutes after his twin. "You also have a sister."

The Byakugan wielder looked away and murmured. "Yes, but… neither of us actually wants this position."

The older kunoichi swallowed.

"I-it's not easy living as the heiress of the clan. My sister and I have to live up to Father's expectation, follow every strict rule, being the person they want us to be… while in fact we have never asked for this in the first place."

Being an orphan that she was, Tenten had never thought Hinata actually lived with heavy burdens too. She realized then that high status, money, people's respect, prestige, things like that weren't that important. Not that she would ever have them in her life like Hinata, anyway.

"And… and then there's Neji-nii." The Hyuuga's lips formed a small smile. "He has potential and the will to make our clan better. I-it's not that we don't want to do anything for Hyuuga, but my sister and I think he will make the best head in the end. We will help and support him fully. As Father told us yesterday, we both would be Neji-nii-san's advisers."

_Neji._

"I don't think I give up on anything. I'm still trying to become stronger, Tenten-san." Hinata stared into her teacup, sighing quietly. "It's just that I believe Hyuuga will be better in his hands."

There was a silence before Tenten spoke. "But Neji is still very young. Your father, too, as long as I know doesn't look like he needs to retire soon."

"It doesn't matter." The Hyuuga girl shook her head with a small smile, voice firm and confident this time. "Neji-nii-san deserves this freedom as soon as possible."

Tenten didn't know why she could suddenly hear her own heartbeat. "Do you mean…"

"Yes, Tenten-san. His curse seal will be removed."

This was like a dream.

Neji had never told her he wanted to be the clan leader, but having the green mark on his forehead erased would definitely be the best thing ever happened to him. Becoming the Hyuuga head also meant the Elders believed in him and his strength; he was finally able to prove them that he could soar higher than those in Main Family, escaping the limits they had put on him as a Branch member.

She felt so happy for him that she could almost feel her body shaking. Neji would be free. The strong, beautiful bird would finally be free.

God, she wanted to cry.

"He didn't believe it at first, too," Hinata giggled. "But of course the leader doesn't bear the mark. He's going to rule the whole family after all."

"Right." Tenten chuckled even though her mind was still somewhere. Not just that, she thought. Knowing Neji, he wouldn't think of himself only; he wouldn't let other branded members keep suffering throughout their lives. "Of course."

"Why hasn't Neji-nii-san told you about this? I thought…"

Tenten lifted a brow. "Why does it have something to do with me?"

Hinata almost choked on her tea, cheeks red again and pearlescent eyes wide with embarrassment. "I-it's n-not something I should tell you, Tenten-san. N-Neji-nii-san would be mad at me and—"

"Who cares about him?" Tenten rolled her eyes playfully. "Believe me, Hinata, I wouldn't tell him that you revealed it first."

"P-promise?"

"Yes," she answered firmly, making a mental note to keep it this time. The last time she'd promised Lee the same thing, she'd ended up breaking it—which led to her fight with Neji.

"But…" the white eyed girl gulped, still looked hesitant and afraid. "You probably would rather have him telling you instead of me."

Tenten laughed. "He will tell me later anyway. Come on, Hinata, you've already made me curious. This isn't nice."

There was a long pause that felt like forever, until Hinata looked at her with a nervous smile. "According to our tradition, Tenten-san," she said, "the new clan head is required to marry before the ceremony."

* * *

It was almost late at night and Neji was standing in front of her apartment like a fool.

The certainty that she was still mad at him didn't stop him from going. He probably was stupid and weak when it came to Tenten, but even with that knowledge, he still found himself knocking on her door.

Tenten appeared in her plain T-shirt and shorts, chestnut hair in a messy bun—she was probably getting ready for bed. Chocolate brown eyes stared at him silently and he knew she was recalling the words he had said that evening. If anything, Tenten was always good with memory.

"Can I help you?"

She was probably disgusted at him. He knew, really, he knew he had acted like a selfish bastard who deserved a good punch, but that was the reason why he was here in the first place.

He noticed how she gripped the doorknob tighter than necessary when he didn't even respond. "If you're going to stand there like a statue, I'll just—"

"I'm sorry." The two little words rolled off his tongue so easily that it even surprised him.

Tenten, however, kept her face solemn and crossed her arms over her chest. "I thought nothing about me was your business anymore?"

Neji couldn't help it. With a shinobi's speed he pushed her back into her apartment with his arms around her and lips pressed forcefully against hers. He knew he didn't deserve this, but he needed to apologize to her in every way he could. He didn't expect her to forgive him this soon, but he needed to try.

He felt slightly better when she didn't push him away, or worse, stabbing him in the chest with a kunai she hid somewhere. A moment later he pulled away and took a step back, extinguishing the fire in his own stomach—just because he needed to say it again. "I'm sorry."

Tenten inhaled deeply as if trying to find her voice. "Explain."

Neji closed his eyes. "I know this isn't the right time for me to ask something from you, but…"

"What else do you want?" Tenten asked and he almost winced at the disdain he noted in her voice. "You asked for time, Neji, and I gave you time. I didn't even try to stop you that morning."

The way she spoke was enough to shut him up.

"Then you said that nothing about me was your business anymore. Correction, you said that my forced marriage wasn't your business anymore. Wait, what's exactly the difference?"

Neji had had enough. He needed to tell her before she refused to listen to him.

"They told me to find a wife before I could become the clan head," he said, voice barely above a whisper. "And do you really think I could think of someone else?"

Tenten didn't look surprised, only squeezing her eyes shut as if in pain.

"I know I hurt you by leaving when you needed me after you returned. I know I angered you with what I said that evening. I'm here…" he paused for a while, "because I realized I was wrong."

Unexpectedly, fury flashed through chocolate eyes after she opened them again. "You're still heartless as ever," she snapped. "Who do you think I am, a weak girl who will always say yes to you and forgive all of your mistakes that easily?"

A pause while she was taking a deep breath. "You come back to me just because you need a wife to become Hyuuga leader. Do you know how selfish it sounds?"

He had expected this from her. It did make him look selfish, he knew, it was as if he only came to her when he needed something. Yet the truth was he didn't come here just to ask her to become his wife. He wanted to fix _everything. _And he needed her to understand that without him having to say it out loud because he just wasn't good with words.

"Remember the reason you left, Neji," she said, eyes darkening and fists clenching. "We are _warriors, _this kind of feeling is useless in battlefields. Dating, relationship, marriage, children. Many of us shinobi don't think we need them, and I understand that. But you said then that you wanted to learn to deal with emotions and to become stronger and braver for me. The question is, Neji, have you become stronger?"

"No." He answered—without thinking, for he had prepared this answer since he'd started to change his mind. "Because I was wrong. I couldn't become strong without you."

Silence.

"I was losing my mind at that time. I was too… angry at the situation and the fact that I couldn't protect you. At that time, you reminded me of…"

She raised an eyebrow, demanding him to continue. Neji knew he didn't usually say things like this; he rarely spoke about his feelings even to her.

The blurred image of Hyuuga Hizashi, with the unspoken understanding in his colorless orbs and the warmth in his smile flashed through his mind.

Only Tenten possessed the same understanding, warmth and comfort he had once found in his father. "Of my father."

Because Hyuuga Neji was not as tough as people thought when it came to emotions, and he needed her to know that. He needed her to know the real _him_ behind his strong facade.

"I was being stupid. I thought that if we stopped, I wouldn't…" He paused and shook his head once. "I wouldn't have to suffer anymore and I would become stronger. But I was wrong."

Tenten let out a long breath, not quite hiding the exhaustion and storm raging in her eyes, reminding him that weapon mistress or not, she could still feel hurt too. He was responsible for this; he'd been giving her hard times only. Nevertheless, he was just glad she didn't shed any tear. She was still _Tenten_ after all.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I do understand that you can't just forgive and trust me again easily." Neji took a step back, eyes never leaving hers. "I'll do anything you want me to do. Just please know that I'm sorry." _I'm sorry, too, that I'm never good with words._

He was stupid and weak when it came to Tenten—the same way he was when it came to his father, he realized, and for that reason alone he decided to leave now. He wanted to give her time to think, to cool down, and finally, to forgive him. Neji turned around and walked to the door, pausing once he was outside.

"You remember the last words I said that morning?"

She ignored his question. She remembered, he was sure.

Neji finally looked at her over his shoulder. "I won't be with someone else."

Brown orbs widened in surprise and his all-seeing eyes caught the barely suppressed hope in them, almost enough to make him spin around to kiss her again—to convince her, to erase the last doubts in her. Yet, he still wanted to give her a little time; rushing would only make everything worse.

Tearing his gaze from hers, Neji shut the door behind him slowly.

* * *

**(A/N):** Thank you for the reviews so far, and as always, I hope you still want to read more!


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